Kidney Giveaway!

I'm back. I am the most failed blogger of all time!! I think the last time I posted was March. I also switched blog sites, so all of my old posts say they were from Oct. 2013. Lies. It's all lies.

Quick update on life: I am in school still, still working my butt off! I get to apply to the nursing program after this semester. Dan is a stay at home dad at the moment, and he LOVING it. Haha, actually he's dealing with it ;) Landon and Kyla turned 4 in August and had a super sweet bounce house party. But I guess the big news was the kidney news. I got a simple blood test to just see if I was a match to donate to my sister in law....and shocker....I WAS.

So these days, I am giving away organs. Watch the bone marrow people call me after this kidney donation. Haha. I never really thought getting my blood drawn would turn into giving away a kidney! When I first found out I was a match I wasn't 100% surprised. Dan and I both had a feeling it would happen that way. It took me a lot of research, a lot of prayer, and a lot of help from my Uncle Cliff who is a nephrologist! (How convenient for me :) After all that I agreed to move onto Phase II, which is all sorts of tests. I had a CT, many blood draws, got a shot of radioactive something or other and peed in a toilet hat for a day haha, an EKG, chest Xray, BP monitor for 24 hours. I had to meet with a caseworker, social worker, nephrologist, urologist, lawyer, psychologist, etc. It was long and draining. Finally after a few weeks I got the call saying I was medically, physically, and mentally (how I passed that.........hahah) CLEARED to donate. Cleared with bad news though, my right kidney seemed to look smaller than my left. They want to leave you with the larger kidney, so if they took my right they couldn't do laparoscopic surgery because of the anatomy of the human body. It would HAVE to be open surgery. Which means more painful, longer recovery, etc. That would mean surgery would have to be next summer, and I would have to take time off school. Finally, after one more test where I got to watch my urine drain from my kidneys to my bladder, it was determined my kidneys are almost equal size! I was so relieved. After a few months of all this I am 100% all in on this. They ask you like 100 times if you want to back out. I would be sad at this point if something happened where I couldn't donate. So as of now Amanda and I will go into surgery on Monday, Dec 16th.

I have to have about 20 more vials of blood drawn 2 weeks before surgery for a final "tissue typing" to make sure I can still be her match and donate. If that's all clear I have my pre-op visit on the 13th. I am actually looking forward to the 16th but I am praying I will be able to function on Christmas. This is the only time I am able to do the surgery around my school schedule since I am really packing classes in now. There have been a few moments I feel a little crazy, haha, mom of 4 year old twins, a legal caregiver to my husband, in school trying to be a nurse, and hey, why not just hand off an organ!

The thing is, it's so much more to me than just "giving away an organ" even though that's how I phrase it. People have called me a hero, and an angel and stuff. But trust me, if you were in my situation you'd make the same choice! I saw firsthand my sister in law's health just deteriorate. We didn't know why. I saw my sister in law in dialysis within a day of going to the ER. I listened to my mother in law sob on the phone after she found out her daughter was in total kidney failure literally overnight. I have seen Amanda's skin color change just from one day of her blood finally being cleaner. I have heard her complain about her pain, I have seen her scars. I have sat with her during dialysis and seen the gigantic needles that go in her arm 3 times a week. I have seen the place she sits 3 days a week while she relies on a machine to keep her alive. She is my husbands little sister, his only sibling. I 100% want to give her a kidney so she can resume normal life. This was a girl who would work 2-3 jobs at a time never complaining and now she's too sick to be allowed to lift over 10 pounds! If she gets my kidney, and it works, she can go back to NORMAL life. She has to take anti rejection meds forever, but what a small price to pay for a whole NEW life! If all I have to do is have surgery and give an organ I have two of, count me in. I pray a lot that I can give this kidney, I also pray that surgery is successful for both her and I. I pray that the kidney will work once it is in her body.

Sorry for such a long post! One last thing, because people ask a lot. Here's what I will go through. Early day at the hospital on the 16th. Go into surgery as soon as we are able to. Mine takes less than 2 hours I BELIEVE....maybe a little more?? I wake up eventually (I am a PACU's worst nightmare haha, I either cry a lot, hate or LOOOOVE everyone and I also am a puker.) I move up to my room later (which I have heard a rumor I get to stay in VIP at the clinic which is apparently super great), and then I stay there for about 3 days. I have a catheter for the first 24 hours to measure my urine. Joy joy! For the first 7 days I am not allowed to be alone at. all. Scary a little? lol. I am not allowed to drive for 2 weeks (that rules out last minute Xmas shopping, because ya'll know I'm nuts and would try to if I could), and I'm not allowed to lift over 10 lbs for 4-6 weeks.. Sorry twinnies!!! I have spoken to many donors at this point and the verdict is: you feel like garbage for 2 weeks-ish. Yay for that falling on Christmas ;)

We already have had SO many people offer to help with the kids, with food, with Dan, with me, etc. We have people from church who already requested the day off work to just be at the hospital with Dan while Amanda and I undergo surgery. I am OVERWHELMED by the love and support from those people. You know who you are, and you are AMAZING!!!!! I am go grateful for the blessings God has given us. A kidney match, and amazing people who have our backs. We are so blessed!!!!!!

Now that I wrote a book......I hope you all have a good day :) :)

XO Em

70 Degrees for a Day

It hit 71 degrees today. In. March. In. Ohio. Lets. Have. A. PARTY!
We decided to have a cookout, so kind of a party! For my friends who don't live in Ohio and haven't ever lived anywhere but south... this is a rare event. We usually have snow and 30 degrees goin on right now. So this SUNSHINE and nice weather is JUST what we needed!!! The kiddos are on cloud 9 and so is this momma. I am working at the coffee house from 2-6 so I am running out of here at 6! At least the doors are open here and the sun in shinin in : )
We had a wonderful Sunday today despite a lost hour of sleep (who invented that daylight savings time anyway??) We got up for a good reason though. Who ever would have thought Sunday would have been my favorite day? I used to hate Sunday because of Church and school the next day. Now i LOVE Sundays because Dan is home and CHURCH is on Sundays! : ) Oh how things have changed in our hearts. I SO love it! Church was great today, and as always the company there was fantastic. On the way home from church Dan told me a fellow church member read my blog because we were the featured family in the church email this week! The link to my blog was attached because of last weeks posting. (Which by the way your support for that post was OVERWHELMING and we feel so supported and loved on our new journey so THANK YOU!) So anyway, this person read my blog and realized a family member of theirs has many similarities to Dan and I guess agreed to talk to Dan. Getting Dan to talk to ANYONE was SO hard so I sympathize with this person bigtime. Knowing my blog..what I wrote..can maybe help another family really feels good : ) Just knowing this was read by someone and got to the right person and knowing maybe my husband can share his stories and relate to yet another person.....it's cool. This church has been so good to us, paying it forward is the least we can do!
I'm keeping this one short so I can close up the Coffee Shop and maybe so Maggie will read it...haha (sorry I write so much MAGS!)
Xo EM

A Leap of Faith

Sorry I have been slacking on the blogging... I have been so busy with school stuff, mom stuff, church stuff.... I am very happy to report I am getting ALL A's!!! For the first time since like...3rd grade! LOL! I mean, honestly though, that was the last year I can remember loving school. How sad. I loved "school" after that but not LOVED it and not really the school school part, just the social/extracurricular part. So anyway, that is keeping me super busy. The twins are ALWAYS keeping me super busy of course! And we have a new found "happy place", our church...which is what I going to write about in this post. This is going to maybe surprise some of my friends who I haven't closely spoken to lately because this is a very new thing my family is going through. Its surprising Dan and I, and our families as well....Trust me... (bear with me if this is long, I am getting out a lot here!)
A few months back....maybe 6 months ago or so, friends of ours (Josh and Aimee Bogner) asked me if I would like to volunteer cutting hair once a month at their church. Its a cute little church called Prince of Peace in Mentor. I agreed because I don't work in a salon so any heads I can get my hands on is a fun time for me and I felt like volunteering would be a fun thing to do! So every last Saturday of the month that's where I go for a few hours. I have met some very cool people. Aimee asked me if I would like to try out church with them the following day plenty of times and I never went. I basically swore off religion after catholic schools, being made to go to church every Sunday for years, and then one of my best friends being killed in Afghanistan in 2008 (I never thought a God could exist who could take away someone like my friend.....I didn't realize then the schooling was because my parents chose the best option for me and the church every week was to raise me in a good home...sorry mom and dad!) So after what seemed like a long time of Aimee asking me to go to church I finally decided one Sunday to pack up the kids and go (with TONS of discouragement from Dan.) The whole time during the first service I cried. The message was about the fact that every storm stops eventually... it will always clear up. Things WILL get better. After that I just knew I had to come back. That week Gary Allan had a song become popular called "Every Storm"...Coincidence? It was awesome. I went again the next week as well and have gone ever since....now getting Dan there I thought was never going to happen.
Within the first couple weeks of me going to church I knew the pastor and his wife were great and I wanted to get to know them. I wanted Dan to meet them. I wanted to get Dan to this place where I felt so safe. Josh and Aimee had us over for dinner one night and I dropped the bomb to Dan that we were having dinner with the pastors of a church. He threatened to cancel a few times, but eventually, we made it there on the night it was planned! : ) It was a great dinner, a great night, great company. I heard Dan talk about things it normally takes months....or years....of knowing him for him to tell you. War stories...life stories. He trusted Ken and Shelley right off the bat. It was a breath of fresh air for me. It was a mini therapy session for him! After that night Dan started to attend church a little more but not as regularly as I. We were a little unstable, we would fight about random, stupid things and there were Sundays I would bring the twins to church alone (there is a wonderful playroom there for them, so I get an hour of peace and quiet!) and Aimee would just let me cry on her shoulder and remind me that Dan was resisting and he would come around. It was so hard to believe then because I didn't think Dan would ever go to church but I felt that was where I had so much love and support so I continued going.
I started meeting more and more people at the church (which I am wondering....is everyone there somehow related???? LOL!) and everyone is just SO nice. People I didn't know were hugging me on days they didn't know I needed those hugs. Pastor Kens messages seemed like they were for me every week! I was so happy. And then Dan started coming regularly. And then Dan started meeting the amazing people I did. And then Dan started hearing the amazing messages. And then Dan started LIVING a new life. We started going to a bible study at Josh and Aimee's house with some amazing people, Dan goes to a men's homeless shelter every Saturday morning now with Josh, Josh's brother Don and our friend Shawn from PoP to do a bible study for these men at the shelter. He gets up at 6 am on his day off to do this.
Seeing my husband, who has lived one of the craziest lives I have ever heard of...like literally from day 1...who SWORE off God....go from zero to sixty....who told our bible study group he is breaking the mold and raising our children the right way, and in a Christian home and living a new life now......makes. me. cry. This man had to leave his dream job as a United States Marine because of PTSD, bipolar disorder, etc... He is now sober and made that amazing choice for the sake of his life, his children, and myself.....The fact that he wants to change things from the way things were.... I am in tears writing this.
I know some of you who will read this may not believe in God, or have a faith similar to this and think I am crazy. People who knew me before will probably be like WHAAA??? But this is my new choice.....This church has Changed. My. Life. I am never, ever going to come up to any of you and smack you with a bible and tell you I wont be your friend if you don't believe what I do....haha! I am making this choice because I can't say these things that have happened in my life are coincidences anymore...Trust me, I still have A LOT of questions and SO much to learn. But honestly....I have nothing to lose....What if it's not real....I have thought about it to.... I mean, that just means I lived in a good way, I raised my kids to be decent little kiddos and had a good, solid family. That's the goal anyway. I never thought I would be the person who would say "I will be praying for you".... I was always the "I will be thinking about you" person....but now I will pray for you....whether you believe, or whether you don't : ) And I'm still the same old me..... I just have this awesome faith now and I am writing this to share it with you.
I have to admit am nervous to post this because people judge people over their faith habits. I know Dan and I both have friends..... and family even.... who may judge us, doubt us, and look at us differently now, but I know our true friends will realize we are no different (except Dan is trying to swear A LOT less LOL!!) I just hope we have your support on our new "leap of faith" as we walk with our new friends at our new church. It is so awesome. And I am SO. so. Happy. <3
Xoxo
Em

Princesses Don't Wear Pants

Kyla's new favorite saying while putting her pants on.... "Princesses don't wear pants". Well little miss, Princesses don't live in Ohio where it is 11 degrees and the wind chill makes it feel below zero! I know this girl doesn't want to wear pants but I also don't want child services called on me for my daughter running around without pants on in a foot of snow ;) I did convince her princess Jasmine wears pants so she's a little more okay with it!
While we're on the topic of princesses.... Dan took Kyla to Disney on Ice on Monday. (Thanks for the tickets Jackie!) She LOVED it. She wore her princess Aurora dress and everything, haha! She looked so cute leaving the house with him and her pink dress, winter boots and big winter jacket. They had a blast. He took her to Red Robin for dinner after :) Landon and I had a date that night too. One night Dan and I went out and told the kids we were going on a date so Landon has been begging for a date ever since. I think he thought a date was a material object but by the end of the night he got the idea! I took him to Paragon for a burger, which he requested! He devoured half of a very large burger, and then some fries. Papa (my dad) joined us for a bit at Paragon since his coffee house (the Lakeshore Coffee House) is a few doors down. Then Landon and I went to see "Frankenweenie"...where he devoured a bag a popcorn and some pop. Hungry dude! The movie was quite odd. Kind of cute, Landon LOVED it! So that's all that matters :) Landon was a wonderful, cute date that night. He held my hand everywhere we went and was very polite :) I hope we have date nights more often!
I survived the second week of school! I have decided I should get a Biology tutor. I just am SO bad a retaining the stuff. I study for hours, make flashcards, re read the chapters, do ALL of the exercises, questions, take notes in class, do all of the extra lab work, etc and there are just still things I. CAN. NOT. GET. It sucks to admit defeat, especially two weeks into school, but I am happy to admit it because it was a mistake I made in high school and at Akron.... I thought for sure it was the teacher, or something else, and I just did NOT care. Now that I care about my grades and the outcome and the long term goals I know what I need to do to make this right and have the best possible outcome. I guess I was like...embarrassed? maybe? lazy?! before to ever need or want a tutor but now I don't care. I know I need the help. I just can't understand some of the stuff. And I think I'm getting it, then I get to class and just get more confused, Haha! I want good grades, I want to succeed!!!! BTW if anyone wants to tell Dan all of my studying will pay off one day I wont be mad at you ;) haha. Goal is in mind, I just want him to be 100% on board. I know the day will come one day!! Or I will just throw my diploma at him one day, and then money. I'll make it rain. Just kidding. HAHA! I just will feel good contributing to this family in a different way. I LOVE the way I contribute now though, these kiddos are so awesome to be able to hang around with all the time, I am very blessed to be able to be with them and raise them :)
Another thing that happened over the last week was my sister in law had a surgery on her arm to implant a fistula in her arm. She had the surgery already and it was simple, with a small scar, but it didn't work. So this time they had to make an incision from her wrist to her elbow to make sure it worked this time. It left a huge scar, obviously. She needed this more permanent "port" put in her arm for dialysis because she still has an A line hanging out of her chest/ collar bone area. The longer that's in the worse it can get. So now the one in her arm has to heal again, then they have to test it, then they surgically remove the one in her collarbone as long as the arm one works. She is also very close to getting on the donor list. Please just say some prayers for her that her new dialysis port will work and that she gets on the list/ finds a match asap! This dialysis/kidney failure stuff is no fun for her at all. Or my mother in law who has to deal with it all too. Positive thoughts for this please!
Hope everyone has a great weekend! I will be studying for my first Medical Terminology test, which is on Monday! Wish me luck! :)
Xo Em

My Nose is Back in the Books

I have officially completed my first week back at school. I opened my online class 6 days ago and have probably studied 5 hours a day...that doesn't seem like enough.....does it... ugh! Dan asked me why I don't study during the day.....haha, I DO! ;) I study non stop and still feel overwhelmed, like I'm not grasping things. I feel bad that I am taking "our time" to study...but I am not a person that can't study. I HAVE to study. First classroom day was Tuesday. I go Tuesday and Thursday nights for 3 hours a night for Biology. Literally 5th-8th grade biology, but re-learning this stuff is really not exciting or fun since I was never into it. You can tell I study when the kiddos are awake because every few pages i will try and teach Kyla how to write her name or the alphabet will be written across the pages of my notebook. :) (PS i hate that this blog automatically changes these into yellow smiley faces! lol)
I just have to keep in mind my main goal. I want to be a nurse. I have always thought about it, I started school for it in '06 and wasn't ready or mature enough I guess. I have always had such a want to help people and have been told by many it would be an excellent career for me. Then I had such an amazing amazing day the twins were born. I had a wonderful experience in the hospital and since then I haven't gotten it out of my mind that Labor and Delivery is where I want to be. I thought about becoming a doula because they do get to deliver babies and that's what I want to do! I want to help mothers through labor and help them getting those babies out! If I can get two out in 2 hours (YES it took that long) ANYONE can do it, and I want to be there for those mommas! School ended up being an option for me because I was able to get financial aid to go so I knew this was my window of opportunity and I couldn't let it pass me up. So here I am, a FRESHMAN....again...LOL! But this time I know the mistakes I made in the past and I am not going to make them again. I want this for me, and for my family! Thanks SO much to everyone who has ENCOURAGED me on facebook and to my friends and family who have in person. I appreciate your support more than you know. That's what will help get me through, because I know this will not be an easy journey!!!! THANK YOU so much...you are awesome!
A few other things this week...
Thanks to our lovely friend, Chris, Dan and I got to get out Monday night and go to the movies (we NEVER do that anymore!) We saw Zero Dark Thirty. It. Was. AWESOME. I'm going to post a whole thing about that another day, but for now I'll just say it was SO cool to finally put a visual to the stories I have been told by Dan and my other Marine friends. You wanna talk about Heroes....yeah... So we got to do that before I got into having no life going to school. I go to the gym in the morning to get enough energy to be able to get through studying all day/going to class, chasing the kiddos, and doing whatever moms do around the house all day and whatever else comes up.
Yesterday I went to a preschool open house with the twins. CRAZY! I can't believe it's that time already. SCHOOL for my BABIES. Where did my little teeny tiny babies go??? A few days ago I got a tattoo of their footprints when they were born (my mom wasn't excited about it lol!) but I was just looking at it in the mirror and thinking how small they were. I can't believe how fast they really grow, how amazing they are, and how cool they are becoming every day :) I am so proud of them. I am really looking forward to them starting school.
Well I seem to have written a lot so I will end here but I will see y'all again soon!
Xo Emily

Generic First Post Title

Hello everyone who may read this!
I have been contemplating starting a blog for a long time now. I have wanted to put my days into writing, and my thoughts. Also, I have Celiac Disease and have to eat 100% gluten free so I take normal recipes all the time and make them Gluten Free (GF) so I wanted a place to share those recipes with my GF friends!
For those of you who may have stumbled across this blog and don't know me I am a momma of 3 year old boy girl twins who are so amazingly awesome! And crazy ;) But the craziness just means they are healthy, which is perfect! They are my world, of course, and I am completely obsessed with them and with motherhood! I am married to a wonderful guy, Dan. We have been married for.....7....8 ? something....months! But have been together for about 5 years now. He is a (medically) retired Marine, so I still consider us a proud USMC family, because once a Marine, always a Marine. When I was pregnant in 2009 we moved back to Ohio, where we are both from, from North Carolina, which we both miss on probably a bi-weekly basis! It is such a wonderful thing, though, to be home with our families, especially since we have Landon and Kyla lighting up everyone's lives, and tearin' up everyone's houses!
A few more things about me... I have the full time momma position here at home which has been such a blessing the last few years! I just started volunteering for Make a Wish as a Wish Granter, I will be the corespondent between the family and the company while the child is getting their wish granted. Very excited about that! I also am becoming more active in our amazing church, Prince of Peace in Mentor (Shout out!) We go every week, which is a first for us, and I volunteer cutting hair there once a month for low income families.
If you follow me on facebook or are my good friend/family member you know I am going back to school (TOMORROW) for the first time in a LONG time. I am going to be studying Nursing and I have already started my online class and am already freaking out.....a lot! I'm only taking two classes to start but I know Biology wont be a breeze because it never was! So I will be blogging as much as time allows between the kiddos, the hubby, the books, the studying, the cooking, the cleaning, the laundry, the errands, the volunteering, the blah blah blah you get the idea ;)I wouldn't have it any other way though!! I am SO blessed!!
I'm looking forward to sharing my thoughts to whoever may read them. Hope you enjoy!
Xo Emily